The Savior Syndrome is a behavioral pattern commonly observed in women. It refers to those individuals who dedicate their lives to taking care of and worrying about others, including their family, partner, social causes or animals.
The Savior Syndrome: When caregiving becomes a burden
At first glance, this behavior may seem admirable but from a psychodynamic perspective, it reveals a series of unhealthy neurotic patterns.
The first thing that stands out in these individuals is that they tend to neglect themselves, losing touch with their own feelings and needs. They find it difficult to express themselves because they are unaware of what they truly feel, and often suffer from deep unconscious insecurities, fearing abandonment. As a result, their lives become a representation of what they believe others expect from them.
They prioritize the needs of others over their own which seemingly gives them a sense of peace and well-being. However, in reality, this behavior also generates deep-seated resentment.
Despite their exaggerated sacrifices which they unconsciously keep track of, they rarely receive the reciprocation they expect. This fuels their resentment, which does not diminish over time.
Savior Behavior
Why can offering too much help be harmful?
People with lifesaver behavior tend to offer help on a constant basis, even without being requested with the aim of creating a dependency on others. These types of people tend to be neurotic in their overprotection, anticipating the wishes of others and assuming responsibility for them, thus seeking to be valued and loved, nourishing their ego and narcissism.
In reality, they try to buy love through their actions. However, despite appearances, these people do not really allow their “Protected” to grow, since they need them to be vulnerable and dependent to continue to avoid facing their own anguish through their hyperactive “altruism”.
The Savior, individually characterized by his tireless generosity
Despite not being able to address its own needs or ask for help for itself, El Salvador tends to establish dysfunctional intimate relationships with even more vulnerable people in order to “rescue” them. Therefore, it is common to relate or mate with addicted, tormented or childish individuals.
However, paradoxically, El Salvador unconsciously sabotages those who are trying to grow. For this type of person, it is essential to feel needed and to maintain their “essential” role.
Savior Syndrome: An in-depth analysis of its origin
The Savior Syndrome, a neurosis that affects many adults today, finds its roots in childhood.
This pattern of behavior originates when a member of the family, whether mother, father, brother or other family members, encourages the child to adopt adult roles and to assume responsibilities that do not belong to them.
This can be due to conscious or unconscious reasons and forces the child to give up on himself and adapt to the needs of others in order to be accepted without receiving in return the love and attention that he so badly needs.
This phenomenon makes children a victim of invisible violence, in which their childhood is robbed and an emotional and physical burden that is inappropriate for their age is imposed on them. It is a pattern of behavior that leaves consequences in adult life, affecting self-esteem, interpersonal relationships and the ability to set appropriate limits.
Understanding the origin of The Savior Syndrome is essential to addressing its effects and finding healthy ways of healing and personal growth.
The Savior: A deep look at their low self-esteem and Feelings of Guilt
Low self-esteem and deep feelings of guilt are a constant burden for those who consider themselves “saviors”. These people feel a strong responsibility to make others happy and fear being rejected or punished if they don’t meet the expectations they themselves have created.
Although they crave the affection and recognition of others, they often have difficulty accepting and enjoying them, since they don’t feel deserving of them. It’s as if they were hungry and didn’t know how to eat properly.
Telling a savior to stop trying so hard for others is as useless as asking an addict to stop using drugs. These are the only ways they know of to alleviate their deficiencies, at least temporarily.
In the process of psychotherapy, it is essential for The Savior to discover that his exhausting and frustrating “savior-rescued” relationships are not mere coincidences or bad luck, but rather a repetition of patterns that he experienced in his childhood.
During their childhood, they desperately struggled to gain the love of a toxic family through sacrifices that were never returned.
Without this deep understanding and the practical decisions that may result from it, the savior will be trapped in an endless cycle of complaints and suffering.
In short, low self-esteem and feelings of guilt are significant challenges for those who consider themselves “saviors.” Psychotherapy can be a valuable tool to help them understand the root of these patterns and to develop healthier relationships with themselves and others.
