In a conversation between Socrates and Agathon, the philosopher stated that love is, firstly, love for something and, secondly, love for something that is missing. This reflection leads us to wonder why we repeat behavioral patterns, romantic relationships, conflicts, limiting beliefs and self-sabotage. Why do we keep choosing the same type of partner over and over again?
The Why of Repetition in Romantic Relationships: A Biodecoding Perspective
The answer to this question does not lie in why but in why. According to Elisabeth Horowitz and Pascale Reynaud, experts in biodecoding, repetition is presented to reveal secrets of past generations and to make us aware of situations embedded in our family’s past.
Repetition can have several forms and reasons. On the one hand, it can be a way of unearthing hidden situations from the past and, on the other hand, it can be a way of seeking solutions to problems that were not resolved in the past.
Influence of the Transgenerational and the Sense Project on Current Loving Behavior: Keys to a Healthy Relationship
The influence of the Transgenerational refers to the information that is stored in the biological unconscious and that is transmitted from generation to generation by the family clan so that conflicts can be resolved in future generations.
This means that the choice of partner is not exempt from the important influences of each of the family trees of the members of the couple.
In the field of Bioneuroemotion, it is stated that we fall in love with each other’s programs and that we repeat stories because of what is included in the Sense Project, which is another of the indispensable books in our history that need to be opened and investigated in its extension.
The Sense Project refers to the result of all the experiences, conflicts love and heartbreaks, of all the conscious and unconscious desires of our parents, 18 months before our birth, including the 9 months before the day of conception, the 9 months after conception when our mother is pregnant and up to 3 years of age.
Researching and deciphering our program included in the Sentido Project will provide us with an important key to understanding our current romantic behavior. We also repeat stories for those who were part of our story from 0 to 7 years.
In our childhood, we unconsciously record traits of union that are transfers that we make. When we are young, we record a signal that reminds us of our father or mother and it is possible that in the person we are interested in or who is already our partner, we have recorded something from someone else.
Love and heartbreak are recurring themes in people’s lives and sometimes, they can be influenced by the past and by unconscious relationships with father or mother figures. This is the case of a mother who fell in love with her daughter’s boyfriend and of a woman who fell in love with a married man.
In the first case, the mother discovered that she was attracted to her daughter’s boyfriend because her father had fleshy calves similar to those of the boyfriend. However, when he understood that his attraction was due to the absence of his father and his need to fill that void, he was able to accept his pain and change his perception. This is an example of how the past can influence our present relationships and how accepting pain and understanding our unconscious motivations can help us overcome pain.
In the second case, the woman fell in love with a married man because she remembered her old English teacher with whom she had been in love in her youth. By understanding that she was transferring traits of a union from a past relationship to a present relationship, the woman managed to get rid of the attraction to the married man and understand that she was reliving a previous story. This is an example of how the past can influence our present relationships and how awareness of our emotional patterns can help us overcome toxic relationships.
In both cases, accepting pain and understanding unconscious emotional patterns are critical to overcoming toxic relationships. Sometimes, our need to fill emotional gaps leads us to be attracted to people who aren’t right for us. By understanding these patterns and accepting our feelings, we can free ourselves from relationships that don’t make us happy and find happiness in healthier relationships.
Overcoming Toxic Relationships: The Importance of Understanding Our Unconscious Emotional Patterns
Love and heartbreak are recurring themes in people’s lives and sometimes, they can be influenced by the past and by unconscious relationships with father or mother figures. This is the case of a mother who fell in love with her daughter’s boyfriend and of a woman who fell in love with a married man.
In the first case, the mother discovered that she was attracted to her daughter’s boyfriend because her father had fleshy calves similar to those of the boyfriend. However, when he understood that his attraction was due to the absence of his father and his need to fill that void, he was able to accept his pain and change his perception. This is an example of how the past can influence our present relationships and how accepting pain and understanding our unconscious motivations can help us overcome pain.
In the second case, the woman fell in love with a married man because she remembered her old English teacher with whom she had been in love in her youth. By understanding that she was transferring traits of a union from a past relationship to a present relationship, the woman managed to get rid of the attraction to the married man and understand that she was reliving a previous story. This is an example of how the past can influence our present relationships and how awareness of our emotional patterns can help us overcome toxic relationships.
In both cases, accepting pain and understanding unconscious emotional patterns are critical to overcoming toxic relationships. Sometimes, our need to fill emotional gaps leads us to be attracted to people who aren’t right for us. By understanding these patterns and accepting our feelings, we can free ourselves from relationships that don’t make us happy and find happiness in healthier relationships.
The impact of names on interpersonal relationships: a reflection on the repetition of stories
Sometimes names can repeat stories. Take Sofia as an example, who married a man with the same name as her father. This situation raises an interesting question: when Sofía utters her husband’s name, who is she addressing? Your husband or your father? This fact may seem trivial but it shows how names can have an impact on people’s daily lives.
Another example is that of Soledad, Vicente’s mother. Soledad became pregnant young, cut short her studies and changed her destiny when her partner, Vicente’s father, abandoned her. Despite feeling frustrated by the failed romantic relationship, Soledad decided to have Vicente. However, her son never felt loved by her and always perceived a sense of distance and coldness in their relationship.
This situation is no accident since Soledad grew up in a home where her father spent long periods away from home with the suspicion of having another commitment and another family. Soledad’s mother felt frustrated, abandoned and resigned to her fate, which affected her relationship with her children.
The lack of affection and understanding on the part of his mother led Vicente to feel a sense of distance and coldness in their relationship. This situation led him to experience a form of repetition of symbolic incest, which can have serious emotional and psychological consequences.
However, Vicente managed to find love in a companion of the same age, whom he loved passionately. Strangely enough, this woman was the same age as her mother when she met her father. It is possible that Vicente unconsciously sought in this relationship what was missing in his relationship with his mother in order to love her.
In Search of the Affective Warmth, It Never Had: A Story of Toxic Relationships
Often, the emotional wounds of our childhood can follow us into adulthood and affect the way we interact in our relationships. For some, this can lead to an insatiable search for the affection they never received from their parents, in particular from their mother.
This search can manifest itself in romantic relationships, where the person seeks to repair the bond with their mother through their partner. However, this form of symbolic incest can be very toxic to the relationship, since the individual is never seeking the affection of his partner, but that of his mother.
Every claim of love or emotional need is directed toward the mother, not toward the partner, which can destabilize the relationship as the transfer of emotions intensifies.
Recognizing these emotional repetitions and working on them can lead to a new perception of romantic relationships. By learning to love ourselves and meeting our own emotional needs, we can base our capacity to love others on the ability to honor and nurture our own selves.
As Patricia Kaminski and Richard Katz said, “The soul learns to fill itself from within.” Taking responsibility for our emotions and healing our wounds from the past can help us have healthier and more satisfying relationships in the future.
The importance of self-love in relationships: advice from Enric Corbera and the animation “After Oz”
Enric Corbera, a well-known expert in holistic therapy, said that he enjoyed his own company so much that he was always good with himself. His advice is simple but powerful: to love others, we must first love ourselves.
If we can find love and compassion in our own hearts, we can open ourselves to love and intimacy with others.
The 3D animation “After Oz”, created by Percy Kiyabu, a student at the Vancouver Film School, is an exploration of how losing the limits of the self can lead to deep emotional wounds.
The protagonist lives outside the limits of his self and feels an intense desire for connection with others, which is often interpreted as emotional dependence.
However, this can lead to a lack of self-love and a sense of emptiness, which highlights the importance of becoming aware and recovering one’s self in order to love others in a healthy way.
In short, self-love is fundamental to establishing meaningful and healthy relationships with others. As the saying goes, “You can’t give what you don’t have,” and this is particularly true in love and relationships.
